It’s times like these I wish I had a readership to help confirm my assessment on this one. This is how I viewed the communication taking place:
O’REILLY: I don’t understand how I’m supposed to look at this situation. I watch a video, and all I see is a bunch of black people looting a store. But I know I’m gonna be in some serious shit if I don’t find another way to explain this away. Help?
GUEST: People shouldn’t be looting. That’s not what this case is about. It distracts from the real issue, which is black people being unfairly prejudiced. Looting aside, black people don’t commit crime. Ever.
O’REILLY: I like how you said that with a straight face. Please, continue.
GUEST: As I was saying, video footage of black people committing frenzied crime undermines the conversation we should be having, which is that black people never commit crime, and it’s therefore obnoxious to profile us in order to prevent it.
O’REILLY: Whoopi Goldberg Deluxe?
WHOOPI: Black people around the country are now united against racial profiling after many years of it. This unfortunate incident allows us to have the conversation.
O’REILLY: The overwhelming majority of murders committed against blacks, are committed by blacks.
GUEST: Yes.
O’REILLY: In New York City, “Stop and Frisk” has dramatically reduced crime.
GUEST: Yes.
O’REILLY: …for blacks.
GUEST: Yes.
O’REILLY: This has occurred partly by profiling those statistically likely to be committing crimes. Namely, minorities.
GUEST: Yes.
WHOOPI: You raciss’!
O’REILLY: We’re talking about a drastically reduced murder rate here, and I have no reason to doubt the statistics. What does that imply about the role of racial profiling in preventing murder?
WHOOPI: My eyes open really wide to distract people into thinking my incoherent rambling is a result of a physical deformity rather than low intelligence. Anyway, I don’t know if you’re aware Bill, but we finally had a police officer in LA convicted of racial profiling. This is huge for our cause.
O’REILLY: That had literally nothing to do with my previous question. The fact that a professional race peddler is at best is blatantly disingenuous, but at worse possesses marginally functional intelligence, doesn’t speak well for your cause. Moving on…
GUEST: I enjoy statistics when they serve my purposes. In this case, they do not. Let’s quickly change subjects in a way that seems like a natural transition rather than me avoiding an 800-lb. gorilla.
O’REILLY: Agreed. If I harp on the topic, it will expose you and the intellectual fraud you perpetuate for a living. Your credibility will be destroyed, and fervent cries of racism will cause me to lose my job, as recently happened to Pat Buchanan. This is a lose-lose scenario for both of us.
GUEST: Indeed.
O’REILLY: Well, I agree that racial profiling in and of itself is negative. What’s the proposed solution then?
[silence]
GUEST: …You raciss’!
O’REILLY: [looking at the camera] America, if you’re too dumb to see what’s going on here, you deserve what’s coming. Race Profiteer 1, Race Profiteer 2, thanks for your time.
BLACK WOMEN: Raciss’ Old White Man, thanks for having us on. Having the courage to sit in the same room as one of you without vomiting will surely boost our credibility with Black America (and yuppie SWPLs, most of whom will undoubtedly watch this clip in masturbatory self-loathing as they sip free trade organic lattes in Starbucks). We’ll be sure to add this appearance on your show as evidence of our willingness to show our faces whenever the Nuclear Football of Racism next makes its public appearance. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson set the bar pretty high, but when we see all the hope they give to so many, and injustices they bring into the public debate, we just can’t bear the thought of sitting around and doing nothing.free publicity they get and money they somehow manage to squirrel away
The logical conclusion of this exchange is that — assuming the guest is not an affirmative action nitwit and can follow basic logic — the black women, ostensibly representing the interests of Black America, believe that a haphazard, impossible, and wholly Orwellian attempt to control what people think, is more important than reducing murders… of black people themselves.
Though since these race profiteers are likely doing pretty well for themselves, they’re probably as far removed from the average black person as the politicians are from the average US citizen.
